pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize