I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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