so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
