I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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