The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
