I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
