you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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