watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
