I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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