Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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