i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Randomize
