I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
