And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
