zippers are such a cool invention
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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