Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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