Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Randomize
