my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Randomize
