lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Randomize
