No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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