Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I got inside last night via doggy door
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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