dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
