did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
