This dress was meant to end up on your floor
home. puking in laundry basket.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
