Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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