I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Randomize
