Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize