any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
