So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Randomize
