it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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