She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
