Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
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