WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Randomize
