Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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