My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
