Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
