Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
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