You're so nebulous sometimes
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
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