That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Randomize
