I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
