SEEEEXXX PLEASE
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
