i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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