Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
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