I can text with my tongue
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize