I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
even my farts smell like vagina
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
These tits shall not be calmed
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