white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
i need to put some appletini on your dick
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
