ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I just gargled with NyQuil
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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