dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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