I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
