the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
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