But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
