I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
