Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
