I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
