So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
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