Me too!
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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