Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize