i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
