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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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