I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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