You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
