I need help removing her.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize