Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
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